you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
