Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
