Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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