there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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