dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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