Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
