just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
