i just wanna soil my oats bro
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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