im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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