Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize