My friends, they love my intelligence
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize