my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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