I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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