also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
