is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
