Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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