I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
