Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
