I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
