i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
