you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
