Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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