did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
