Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
