We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
