I'm going to jail i love you
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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