I cannot find my penis.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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