And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize