I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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