And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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