If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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