I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize