You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize