this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He felt like a one man threesome
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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