I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
