I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
