She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
