so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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