and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Pooping to opera.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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