He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
