Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
