tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize