I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
