She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
