i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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