Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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