this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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