do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize