Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
