I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
