Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
