I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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