Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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