How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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