thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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