i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
