I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
