my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Can't talk, ducks in the car
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
