your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
