You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
