D3 body, D1 cock
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
