No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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