i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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