A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This baby is an asshole
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
