If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
