I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
