weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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