We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
