nut hugger
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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