I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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