tell your sister to shave her snatch
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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