Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
