But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Michael Bay diarrhea
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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