32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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