it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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