Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
