Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
