at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Please don't give away my fajitas
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
