Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm both gender and math confused
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
