Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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