Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
