with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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