but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
