I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
where am i from again
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
