i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
